he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
