You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
