I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
