Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
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I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
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Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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