Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize