I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
