Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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