We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
