i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
