I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize