you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
