she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
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It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
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You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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