I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize