suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
