the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
