Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
