so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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