he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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