how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
