you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
