One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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