$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I smell like Dick and happiness
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
