So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
