Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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