Fuck appropriateness.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
