i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize