I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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