you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
