I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
