i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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