And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
