My pussy is not your playground.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
