It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
