Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
