guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
And then my night got REAL pukey
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
