I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
