If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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