I heard we made out
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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