I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
did i just pee glitter
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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