If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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