Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
