I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
