I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
