I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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