So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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