She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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