I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
