Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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