shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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