I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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