chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
