YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
