making cat noises will not fix the situation.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We're too hungover to prance.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
