4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
