epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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