i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
don't judge my taste in strippers
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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