my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
