ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
