don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
